This Blogfest is about Showing vs Telling, and is brought to us by the wonderful Misty @ Writer's Block - oh wait! I mean blog...
So here goes.... uhm...not sure I'm getting this right but I'm sure you'll let me know.
TELL:
I looked down at Thane, not quite believing the guilt I saw in his eyes. That bastard, he'd betrayed me. So much for the bond he'd sworn. I glanced down at him and had to struggle not to spit right in his oh so pretty face. The last thing we needed was th eRose Emperor laughing at us.
SHOW:
Cold seeped into my knees from the icy white marble. I turned my face to her, my consort. It was as cold as the stone beneath me. The way she stood she was framed by the flowing blood-red robes of the Emperor's personal guard. Just behind her shoulder, the guard captain's smirk contrasted perfectly with the angry V between her eyes. There was no sound to echo against the walls of the vast throne room, no rustle of cloth, no spoken word. I wanted to break the silence, to take that frown from her face. One word would not do it, though, and all I could do was lift my hand towards her, hope no doubt in my eyes.
There, that's it. Short, I know, but it's a last minute entry and I'm really struggling with the writing at the moment. I have lots of ideas in my head, whole scenes, but then I sit down and the words just won't come.
Wish me luck, maybe it'll go better tomorrow. And now tell me what you think of this and then off with you to read the other entries (HERE).
17 comments:
Nicely done. I love the idea of show v tell blogfests but the pictures were too restricting for me. You did an excellent job with the image chosen and I even liked the tell, though yeah, the show is better.
Show always seems better than Tell, but you handled both well. I'm glad you liked my Show. Elu, the Apache shaman, does the Tell tomorrow afternoon. Hope you like it. Rats, the freezer alarm just went off. Gotta run. Roland
Very enjoyable read. You handled both aspects really well. I must post up mine soon :O)
I think for something you just threw together last minute you did a pretty good job! The show is always the hardest part to get, but it seems like you have a good grasp on it.
I concur. Your thrown-together-at-the-last-minute stuff is still well done.
My take on it is to say yes to both and say no to none.
Show can be just as bad if it doesn't fit.
So, I usually do a mix, even though I may go totally wild in one direction now and then, and disregard balance as well.
Balance isn't really very useful either.
So, to conclude: it depends, like it always does.
That's a super intense picture! I enjoyed your entry - definitely a difference between the showing and telling!
I hear you on the too many good ideas and none hitting the page. My writing has sort of stymied, and for some reason that affects my will to creat blog posts. Weird, huh?
Great contrast with the POVs for this. Not bad at all for a quick write :) I loved all the feelings you put into Thane. I hope you can develop this into a story; betrayal of lovers is always intriguing.
.......dhole
Hey, it's short but POWERFUL! I liked them both in different ways.
The tell has a really strong voice which I loved because I'm all about the strong voices but the show had powerful imagery!
That's one thing I worry about with show, I lose my voice in it. However! A friend recently changed my thoughts on it by saying sometimes tell is show in a different way, it's tell about the character! I don't know WHY I decided to g o off on the tangent but I did. Hehe
*HUGS*
For something whipped up last minute that was excellent! I loved the 2 different POV's.
They are both nice. Of course, the show is better. I liked seeing both POVs.
I totally hear you on having whole scenes in your head and being unable to write them down.
Thanks, guys! I'm glad you liked it!
@ storytreasury @ Donna It may not be nice of me but I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a hard time translating thought into words on the page on occasion. It's kinda reassuring.
@Mia I agree, both has it's place the difficulty is knowing where exactly that is, huh?
@misty I hadn't intended the 2 povs at first it just sort of slipped out that way....
For a last minute thing, these two came out well. Love the POV switch and the idea of betrayed lovers...you may have something for a bigger story here.
Good Job.
J
Wow, those are some monumental differences between your Show and Tell! Love the imagery and intensity of this.
I wish I'd heard about this blogfest sooner so that I could participate too. :)
~TRA
http://xtheredangelx.blogspot.com
I liked how you took a different pov with each snippet. And I enjoyed both of them. Thanks for sharing!
No comparison between show and tell! Thought the show was wonderful, but I must say the tell was also pretty stylish.
Denise :)
Ooo, nice job! I got chills, LOL!
Post a Comment