Tuesday, 31 May 2011

10 Things about Plot Bunnies

I think pretty much all of us have made the acquaintance of that invasive creature known as the Dust Bunny. Well now... you may or may not know it, but the Dust Bunny has a cousin (or rather lots of them), and they live in the corners of a writer's mind.

I'm talking about Plot Bunnies, of course.

The Plot Bunny Parade by Tessa Conte


So here's 10 things I believe you should know about plot bunnies (you might well be familiar with most of this...):


Fact #1: Plot Bunnies are cute

New ideas are always shiny. It's just the way they are - polished and beautiful and colourful and wonderful ect ect ect. 

Plot Bunnies are fluffy and adorable and absolutely have to be cooed at. They are so cute, in fact, that you probably want to do nothing more than cuddle them and nurture them and show them to ALL your friends (preferably those currently without a cute plot bunny of their own to induce appropriate envy). 

Fact #2: Plot Bunnies demand attention

They're like puppies. Adorable, sure. Cute as hell, in fact. 

They also piddle on the floor if you don't let them out, and you have to feed them, water them, walk them and, yes, cuddle them. 

In short, they need love and attention. LOTS of it. 

Fact #3: Plot Bunnies multiply

Plot Bunnies really don't need any help to multiply. All you need to do is look away at the wrong moment and BAM! Your one fluffy bunny has suddenly turned into twenty. 

Fact #4: Plot Bunnies have sharp teeth

Much like real bunnies, Plot Bunnies have teeth. Sharp ones that grow and grow (so they certainly have no trouble biting you)(even if you're not orange like a carrot)(if you are, stop using that self tanner already). 

If you don't pay attention, they will certainly bite you. 

Fact #5: Plot Bunnies shed

Oh yes. All that soft bunny hair? Be prepared to find it all over your sofa, your rug, your bathroom, your husband/wife/kids, your car and the rest of your life. Good luck trying to get everything clean again. 

Fact #6: Plot Bunnies like to hide in corners and under beds

They're kind of like ghosts and monsters that way. Don't think you can guess where they are - you can't. They'll hop out whenever THEY feel like it, not you. And don't bother trying to hoover... it won't work. Plot Bunnies are definately hoover resistant. 

Fact #7: Plot Bunnies are carnivorous

Beware - if there's a particular bunny you like best, keep an eye on it. The little beasties have been known to eat each other whenever it's most inconvenient to you. 

Fact #8: Plot Bunnies are treacherous little bastards

Plot Bunnies do not hop around on your whim, it's the other way 'round. And if you bore them, that's it, of they go, fluffy little tails twitching in the wind. They know no loyalty. 

Fact #9: Plot Bunnies and Muses often collude

I've often wondered if my Muse has a bunny farm secreted away somewhere. In fact, I'm sure he does, because they always turn up when he looks at me with that deviously smug little smile of his. 

Aren't I glad I provide amusement for him. 

Fact #10: Plot Bunnies and Muses often fight like cats and dogs

Even more fun for them. My muse sulks, the plot bunnies gnaw on every available and unavailable surface, and I sit before an empty page tearing my hair out. 

Bah. 

So what about you? Any vital info on Plot Bunnies I missed out on? 

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